Ellie's "Daddy"

"Okay, grab the baby, let's go!", our guide abruptly told us in her broken English as we had just lifted our heads from more paperwork. The fingerprinting and signatures were completed, further instructions were given, and suddenly in one unceremonious command, we were thrust into this next chapter of our lives called parenthood.  I whirled around as I rose to look for her foster mother.  She was nowhere to be seen. I looked around for her foster brother.  Nowhere to be found either.  Realizing they had already left the world she had always known, I then spotted our daughter standing in the center of the next room looking around with a bewildered expression on her tiny face, calling out for her "Ma Ma".  That's when I saw it.  That's the moment I witnessed my husband become a father.  

He instantly took the lead when the first family of her life had made their inevitable exit.  Without  hesitation, he suddenly picked her up as we followed our hurried guide down the stairwell, onto the shaft-like elevator that reeked of cigarette smoke, onto the first floor and out into the crowded street where our alley parked transportation awaited.  We quickly climbed into the back seat.  I remember watching them.  Watching him intently with her as she sat on his lap.  And just to clarify, car seats in China were not required. 

 She was screaming at the top of her lungs ever since he "grabbed" her. It was movie-like.  Everything was moving so rapidly, yet in slow motion simultaneously.  As our driver darted in and out of traffic, my mind was spinning and wondering, "Is this supposed to feel like we are kidnapping her?!!!"  I reached over to try and console her, but it seemed to exacerbate the screams.  She wanted nothing to do with me.  She clung to him though.  And I found even deeper solace in his presence since I was unable to lend help to our daughter in her initial distress. I watched this bond immediately begin with him. He relentlessly comforted her, consoled her, loved on her as if he had been with her since her birth.  She was his daughter.  He was her Dad. 

This man whose heart I prayed and prayed would soften toward the idea of adoption for several years in our early marriage was now holding and protecting this 26 month old little girl on the other side of the world as if that initial period of our lives never existed.  Just another answered prayer in the whole 'Ellianna' narrative.  We were warned that she could possibly "reject" one of us, and as much as you try to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally, the actual impact of that reality is hard to describe when you're the actual "rejected" parent.  Especially when you're the woman whose heart conceived her. Even so, over the next 14 days as we made our way across The People's Republic of China and eventually home, with our new daughter in tow, I had the endearing and prized front row seat to witness the beginning of a beautiful relationship between a father and his daughter take flight. 

And for the last 6 years that opportunity and privilege continues as I see him father her with so much precious and invested passion.  Not with perfection, but definitely with passionate interest in his daughter's life.  I hear her fathers prayers for her welfare, future, and safety.  Or the priceless little metaphorical 'talks' I overhear from another room. Whether it be playing, cooking, building, fixing, etc., those treasured little conversations are like beautiful music to my heart.  I see the concern in his demeanor when she's made bad choices, and the genuine praise when she's made good ones.  I get to witness the literary or devotional motivated Bible discussions before she goes to bed at night.

I'm privy to the squeals, giggles and authentic delight provoked simply by her Dad's attention and sheer presence in the room.  I love the pure joy I see when I inform her that, "Dad is picking you up from school today", or "Dad will be off from work tomorrow."  And the questions.  The numerous questions like, "does Daddy like that?", "Did Daddy do that when he was my age?"  Or the exclamations, "Daddy loves that and so do I!", or "Look what I did Daddy!"  I witness the thrill in her whole countenance when he arrives home from work each day. Or the excitement when Daddy/Daughter dates (affectionately called 3D nights) are approaching on her calendar.  From my privileged vantage point, that fast and furious car ride back to our hotel on May 29, 2011 has never stopped.  He is still holding her close, consoling her in so many different fatherly ways, and comforting her with his constant care and concern.  I can remember sharing with someone early in this God inspired journey of ours how much I adore watching him be a Dad.  And six Father's Days later, my fondness is even more profound.